Just watched the Six Feet Under series finale again. Sometimes you want to wallow in your pain, and that did the trick, in particular the closing sequence in which Claire has visions of everyone close to her dying.
When Grandma Geisel died just over two years ago it hurt like hell. I had seen her just days before she died, and she was just so peaceful, so content with life. Even that knowledge didn’t make it easy to let her go, though. For weeks after the funeral I dreamed about her — those were the good dreams. The bad ones were my childhood Sunday school lessons brought to life, lake of fire and all that. But she had over 80 years, and died having seen her children grow and grandchildren and everything you’re supposed to see.
I just can’t comprehend why Tina died, I just can’t understand what the point is. Everything in my day to day life seems so trivial now, so pointless. There just doesn’t seem to be any comfort in normalcy this time around.