This morning I was walking from the hotel to the conference when the weirdest thing happened to me: I was cruised. Big time. This hot muscle bear with a five o’clock shadow at 7 AM caught my eye from his Jeep Wrangler while he was stopped at a red light. I held his gaze until I had walked past and when he finally drove by he gave me a little salute. Being objectified has never been so satisfying. You may ask how I know it was cruising, to which I can only respond: oh, I know.

This is the sort of thing that never happens to me, only to my friends. I could credit the fact I was wearing my Guess jeans, which were purchased with the hope of encouraging this sort of attention. But I think I’ll choose to believe that it was really just me. I like this town.